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Ronaldo

Roddy Doyle wrote a great short story about marriage equality, and it's going viral

In which Ronaldo decides how one man is going to vote in the referendum. Read it.

Film festival to showcase Doyle adaptations PA Archive / Press Association Images PA Archive / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

RODDY DOYLE’S WRITING is famed for its unique take on Irish life – and his new short story about the upcoming marriage referendum is no different.

On his Facebook page, the author often posts snippets of imagined ‘chats’ from two men sitting in a pub.

In the latest yarn he tackles marriage equality in his own inimitable style, starting off with the two men discussing the referendum, and one man’s gay nephew:

-Look it, he’s a grand kid but he’s an irritatin’ little prick as well.
-So – . I don’t get yeh.
-I’m watchin’ the football, righ’. He always comes to the house when I’m watchin’ the football. An’ he sits beside me – grand. But then – say it’s Real Madrid. He’ll go, ‘Oh, I love Ronaldo’, or ‘Pass it to Ronaldo.’ So – like, last night, I lost it a bit and I said, ‘What’s so special about Ronaldo?’ An’ he says, ‘His pace, his accuracy, his leap, his ability with the dead ball, the way he can turn, his engine – the stats speak for themselves.’ Never mentioned his f**kin’ hair or his six-pack or whatever they’re callin’ muscles these days.
-An’ that annoyed yeh?
-Well, he fooled me. No – he made me think like a fool. An’ he’s always doin’ it – catchin’ me ou’. So, I thought to meself, ‘A few years o’ marriage will fix tha’ little f**ker’s cough for him.’

The story has been shared thousands of times on Facebook since it was posted last night - read it in full here.

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